Questions: Chapter 12

  1. The author’s self-narrated courtship experiences took place in another century, and, quite possibly, on a different planet. Do they have any relevance to the experience of contemporary single adults? If so, in what respects?
  2. Do you have any personal experience with “chemistry first, relationship second” vs. “relationship first, chemistry second”? How did it affect you? What did you learn?
  3. In the Introduction, Sherry, who was grieving the break-up of her marriage to Eric, expressed the wish that her parents “had said something.” Yet when concerned friends summon the courage to point out red flags in a relationship, most romantically smitten individuals disregard such warnings – just as the author did. Can you think of anything you could do to guard against dismissing valuable counsel?
  4. Review the chart “God’s Design for Marriage At-a-Glance” (page 144) one more time. What qualifications for a prospective spouse do you derive from this summary?
  5. What do you think of the advice of Neil Clark Warren (and others) to create a “shopping list” of criteria for mate selection? When it comes to your “gotta haves” and “can’t stands,” why does he insist on “No exceptions!”
  6. “Modern Myth 3: The key to a successful marriage is to find and marry one’s soul mate.” How do the insights of Norman Wright (pages 188-189) challenge this notion? What is the difference between affinity and compatibility? How do these distinctions affect the way you think about spousal qualifications?
  7. Before you read the next chapter, construct a rough draft of a profile of a prospective mate. What are your “gotta haves”; your “can’t stands”; your desired preferences?