Endnotes: Chapter 15

  1. This is a dramatic story. If you like to read and think deeply, I highly recommend the marvelous book by Carolyn Custis James, The Gospel of Ruth: Loving God Enough to Break the Rules (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008). This book is not just for women!
  2. R. Paul Stevens, “Dating,” The Complete Book of Everyday Christianity, ed. Robert Banks and R. Paul Stevens (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1997), 268.
  3. See my discussion of this idea in chapter4.
  4. Henry Cloud, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2005), 63-67.
  5. Ibid., 61-75. For additional ideas on how to meet prospects, see H. Norman Wright’s chapter 5, “Where Do I Meet Them and What Do I Say?,” Finding the Right One for You (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 1995, 2003), 95-118.
  6. These ideas are developed in chapter 4, “Dating Is Not about Marriage,” and chapter 16, “Go Out with Almost Anyone Once, and Maybe Again,” in Cloud’s book How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, 31-38,106-8.
  7. A valuable alternative is Neil Clark Warren’s book How to Know if Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1999), 173-76. Dr. Warren’s perspective may be more relevant to experienced daters who are little further along the path. He offers practical ideas on how to figure out if a casual date has the potential to become a keeper. Yet Warren also realizes that some people don’t make good first impressions. So he warns against jumping to a hasty conclusion lest you miss a diamond in the rough. So “if a person has none of your can’t-stand qualities, but you’re unsure if he or she has your must-haves, take your time!”
  8. John Van Epp, How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2006), 58.
  9. Eros is not found in the biblical text, probably because of its self-serving connotation.
  10. Philos is the word used in Titus 2:4 to describe the love of wives for their husbands and children.
  11. Agapé is required of husbands as they emulate Christ in their love for their wives (Ephesians 5:25,33).
  12. Diogenes Allen, Love: Christian Romance, Marriage, Friendship (Cambridge, MA: Cowley Publications, 1987), 28-29, cited in Lauren Winner, “The Countercultural Path,” 5 Paths to the Love of Your Life, ed. Alex Chediak (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), 36-37. See her insightful discussion of “Love and Christian Dating,” 35-39.
  13. Doug Rosenau and Michael Todd Wilson, Soul Virgins: Redefining Single Sexuality (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2006), 212-19; J. Robin Maxson with Garry Friesen, Singleness, Marriage, and the Will of God: A Comprehensive Biblical Guide (Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2012), 212-27.
  14. Cloud, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, 82-90.