Endnotes: Chapter 8

  1. This passage is more wonderful and complex than I could ever hope to explain within the confines of this chapter. It is the focal passage for the book by Tim and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage. I consider their book an instant classic and the definitive exposition of marriage for singles and couples for now and the foreseeable future. (Timothy and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God {New York: Dutton, 2011}.)
  2. In the vocabulary of the apostle Paul, a “mystery” is a truth previously hidden in God (undecipherable to humans on their own) that has been revealed by God through his apostle. In this case, the mystery is that from the very beginning, God knew and intended that Jesus, and his “marriage” to the church, would be the prototype demonstrating his design for human marriage. He just couldn’t tell anyone about it until after Jesus came.
  3. Jesus demonstrated what servant leadership looks like through a visual parable. On the night before his sacrifice, he washed the feet of his disciples. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and do so correctly,” Jesus explained, “for that is what I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you too ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example—you should do just as I have done for you” (John 13:13-15). In like manner, marital love is to be foot-washing love.
  4. I am indebted to Kathy Keller for this insight: “In this passage {Philippians 2:5-11} we see taught both the essential equality of the First and Second Persons of the Godhead, and yet the voluntary submission of the Son to the Father to secure our salvation. Let me emphasize that Jesus’s willing acceptance of this role was wholly voluntary, a gift to his Father. I discovered here that my submission in marriage was a gift I offered, not a duty coerced from me.” Meaning of Marriage, 175.
  5. “The church’s head is the church’s bridegroom. He does not crush the church. Rather he sacrificed himself to serve her, in order that she might become everything he longs for her to be, namely herself in the fullness of her glory. Just so a husband should never use his headship to crush or stifle his wife, or frustrate her from being herself. His love for her will lead him to an exactly opposite path.” John R.W. Stott, The Message of Ephesians (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1979), 229.
  6. John Witte Jr., From Sacrament to Contract: Marriage, Religion, and Law in the Western Tradition (Louisville, KY: John Knox Press, 1997), 209. Cited in Keller, Meaning of Marriage, 27.